Can you really F*ck a sausage?


So can you really f*ck a sausage?


Yeah, I really am going to go there, for anyone who is sausage curious this one is just for you, don’t worry kinky c has you covered.

Basically, my whole life has been an amazing sexual experiment. If it was penis shaped and seemed like it would get the job done, I was all for it. Some of my experiments where great and others failed miserably.

My sausage experiment was the worst of them all, and what better way to make myself feel better about it, well share it of course.

So okay you might be thinking but she never really fucked a sausage, well let me tell you that’s exactly what I done, well at least I tried too. And it wasn’t just any sausage either I decided to go with the frozen variety.


Yes, it was a real frozen sausage right out of the freezer. Just like the one pictured above, not the biggest in the sausage family but it was all I had to hand.

The sausages where stuck together so the first challenge was obviously to get just one sausage from the bunch. Can you even have a bunch of sausages? eh anyway I needed to just get the one, after eventually breaking one free I was all set and ready to go.

For me the frozen variety seemed to be a bright idea, after all the sausage was in a solid state. My brain told me that to fuck a thawed sausage would be silly and it clearly wouldn’t work, but frozen well that makes sense, no?

Well let me tell you now this was not my best idea. In fact, I would have been better just ditching the idea all together.

The sausage was so cold that my pussy nearly got frost bite, for all the will in the world it just wasn’t having it, I would need to wait a little maybe hold the sausage between my hands, just until it got a little warmer to the touch.

So finally, I was ready to introduce the sausage to my eagerly yet nervously awaiting pussy. I can confirm that the sausage gave its consent when it broke free from the “bunch”. I would say no sausages were harmed in this experiment but that would be a complete lie, so I wont. hehe.

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So, I was now off to a good start, the sausage was in situ, what I didn’t plan for was how quickly it would get cold again. Warming just the outside of the sausage was not enough, the frozen core was not to be messed with. The cold built over the space of a few seconds from yas I have got this to oh shit wait this was a bad idea.

However, me being the trooper that I am, I decided to persist, thrusting the sausage helped a lot. The sausage was never in the same place for long enough to get a good sting going. As small as the sausage was it was doing what was needed.

So, all seems to be going great, but then something didn’t feel right. The sausage wasn’t performing like it had been and I wasn’t sure what the problem was.

Well you know when they say hindsight is a wonderful thing well I think they may have been right. After All anything that is frozen can defrost. Yes, I know I should have expected this but to be fair I had no idea that my pussy was so freaking HOT.

I can imagine that if a few sausages had been standing around to see the sausage in question being pulled from my pussy that day their reaction would not be too dissimilar to this.

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The poor sausage looked like it had been in some sort of crushing accident, imagine a big bowl of stovies, well that’s how this sausage looked. The skin was burst, and its stuffing was spilling out all over the place. I mean if you could get done for cruelty to frozen foods I would be getting a life sentence for such brutality.


I have always said I love a good bit meat inside me, but this time I had taken that far too literally. I had stepped well over the line between sanity and insanity here, and the only thing I had to blame was horniness. I mean let’s be fair to me here, it wasn’t my fault my impulse was so strong, hell lets blame mother nature.

So, my pleasure sesh was over, I had fucked the life out of this sausage and it wasn’t even that much fun. Now I was horny and was down one sausage for dinner.

Like with everything in my life, I decided that it was only right I should put a positive spin on the experience. After all it had taught me a few things.

  • Don’t fuck a sausage (well not of the frozen variety, maybe a German Knackwurst would have been a better option, what? I wouldn’t rule it out completely there is always a way hehe)
  • Things that are frozen can defrost (Okay so I probably knew this already but was clearly not thinking with my head here, and after that experience I was never going to forget this fact)
  • My pussy doesn’t like arctic conditions (seems that’s something we have in common)

What’s even better is that the sausage in question came to a good end, I mean if I was a sausage I would much prefer to have been fucked than eaten. Oh, wait, would I? hehe.

The moral to the story? well I guess it’s think before you fuck. Or be more like me and experiment till your pussy is content and your kitchen cupboards, freezer and fridge are empty.

Thanks for reading



I am not an expert, always seek professional help where applicable. The opinions on this post are my own, this post has been written from my personal experience or knowledge. I do not take any responsibility if my advice or the products I recommend don’t work for you. Everyone is different therefore it is impossible for me to know if the product or advice I give will suit your needs. These are just my personal experiences and accounts, and are intended to be used only as a reference.



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