Catch up with The Oooh Review!
This post has been long overdue, but I finally managed to sit down long enough to ponder my own thoughts.
As most of you will know by now I lost my brother on April 13th this year. Since finding out this tragic news I have very much went underground, unfortunately this has had a knock-on effect for the oooh review.
As i am sure most people will understand, these last few months have taken their toll on me and in more ways than i had expected. Yes, after the loss of a loved one you expect the grief and sadness, even the possibility that you may isolate yourself slightly, but what i have not expected was the lack of a sex drive.
Hear i am in my first year of being a sex blogger and now i find myself stuck in a sexless rut. How so soon after losing my brother do i get down and dirty with it? When is too soon? Will he be able to see me? Do i want to feel those feelings so soon after his loss?
Having sex since his passing has been nice but not all that often in fact i have had sex now twice since my brother’s death. I find it so hard to feel so liberated, free and blissful. It’s like any good feelings should be avoided, almost like i am wrong for feeling them. What kind of sister am i to have such happiness so soon after your departure from this world?
We all know any loss is hard, but for me i have had so much loss in my life it has nearly become second nature for me to, pull my big girl pants up and move on with my life. Living life for those i mourned for the most. Normally i am really good when dealing with grief and for the most part it doesn’t really affect my life and daily activities. However, this time it has been a lot different. Life just doesn’t seem the same without him, like i have stopped in this moment and don’t want to go on any further without him by my side.
The thing is thou he was the only family member that actually knew all about The Oooh Review, he supported me fully with it all and was always asking how it was going. I mean i don’t want to put words in his mouth but i think, from what i could tell. My brother was really proud of my efforts. He even seemed to like the fact i was getting the story of my life out via my stories.
I used to have such a wind up with him over it, so of course he never wanted to have any details – big brother little sister, not something he ever wanted TMI on lol. The poor guy would pop around for a visit and always be met with some kind of information or product lying around that he could NOT unsee haha.
Once he came around late at night when me and KD where in bed watching tv, he wanted to get an ashtray out the cupboard. ( the same cupboard that houses all our toys). Del had stuck a dildo to the inside of the door and when he opened it the dildo nearly hit him in the face lmfao. I have never laughed so hard in my life. He was so pissed off with us both.
Another time he came around and was sitting at my desk. I forgot that earlier that day i was writing up a review and had left a very long purple jelly dildo under the desk on one of the selves. My phone went off with a message from KD.
Just to let you know, that dildo we used last night is under your bro. xxxx KD
Shit, what do we do, don’t look at it, it will only draw his attention, hahahahahahahaha xx KC
I ended up laughing out loud and it all came out, but we always had our sex blog related giggles, i guess i don’t have to worry about these things anymore.
Getting back to my blog was always going to be a hard thing for me, the biggest thing that made it difficult was like i explained earlier how can i have so much fun and enjoyment when he couldn’t anymore. This has made me feel so bad over the last few months. I just couldn’t sit down and write all my stories and experiences with products when i was so sad. Sex has been the last thing on my mind. I couldn’t very well accept products to review when i was sexually out of action. So, i turned down some and added some to the list to be done in July. I wanted to give myself enough time to heal without any sexual pressures.
Luckily for me KD seemed to feel the same. He was very close with my brother and they were basically best mates, he himself felt that he wasn’t as interested in sex for the first month or so, which actually took some pressures off as well. I am now getting there, i have started to think about my blog a lot more often and looking forward to getting my thoughts and feelings back out there. I know my brother would have wanted me to continue what i started. I know he would want me to continue to love writing and experimenting. He supported me in life and im sure he supports me still.
I am slowly starting to feel normal again and starting to get more intimate with KD, i have some items ready to be tested and reviewed and really looking forward to them helping ease us both back in.
I just really wanted to write this post for the people who so kindly follow my work and blog, i wanted to let everyone know what’s been going on and why the absence. Mostly this blog is the way i wanted to continue without my brother, i wanted to write a blog about him and how he factored into The Oooh Review. I feel he had a story to tell in it and that the best way back for me was to start again with him right at the very beginning.
I am now looking forward to jumping back in the hot seat and bringing you all my honest unbiased reviews and sexual stories, and continuing the fight to end the sex taboo.
I hope you all welcome me back.
I dedicate this post to my brother,
you where a rock to me when I was weak. You comforted me when I was sad and protected me from myself at times.
You supported me in all that I done and achieved. All of these things helped me become the real me and I am so glad you got to be part of my transformation. I am so grateful to have had you in my life and ever more grateful that you got to meet the real happy, content and liberated me.
Until we meet again, you will be my inspiration, to keep growing, keep doing what makes me happy and keep laughing as I go with just a little crazy in toe.
Love you forever ❤❤❤