Having a Successful Marriage

vow renual

Having a Successful Marriage


People often ask me what the secret is to my happy, still passionate relationship after such a long time. I suppose i would first answer that i don’t think there is a secret.

Over the 14 years i have been with my husband there has been a lot of compromise, so much compromise. After all we are two different people, with different strengths and weaknesses, different personalities.

He drives me crazy sometimes, and i wonder what i ever saw in him in the first place, is this what i really signed up for? hehe. There are also times when i can’t believe how lucky i am to have found such an amazing person to share my life with.

I think we should start at the foundation, the starting platform of any structure or relationship. Before meeting my husband i found myself in a lot of relationships where i wasn’t fully able to be myself. I would be bending and shaping myself into what i thought that person wanted me to be.

I think we are all capable of committing this crime against ourselves. We like someone so much we suddenly find ourselves liking heavy metal and dressing as a goth. Okay so not exactly that but you get the point?


Be yourself; everyone else is already taken


We mould ourselves into something we are not to get acceptance or approval from someone we like. I believe that to really have a long successful relationship, you need to find someone who loves you just the way you are flaws and all. Someone you don’t feel you have to change for. Once you have this strong foundation in place you can start to build on it.

Another crucial factor is communication, i have always been very open with my husband, we talk about everything, even our feelings be them good or bad. If i have a problem with him, i don’t try to put it to the back of my head, let it build up to be something bigger. Right there and then i will confront him and tell him how he has made me feel. We talk it out, find a solution if there is one, then lay it to bed. This works both ways. As much as it may seem hurtful at the time, we know that this is much better than storing up these emotions and letting them turn into something way bigger, that there may be no recovering from.

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As for how we keep the passion alive, well i won’t lie that takes a lot of work and effort from both of us. We are always trying new things which i think helps us a lot. I am sure i would have been bored a long time ago if we just stuck to doing the same thing every time we got intimate or had sex. Variety is the spice of life after all.

I am always making the effort when it comes to dressing up or creating a magical date night. He is always telling me how sexy i am and how good i look. We kiss and cuddle all the time when we are together and won’t leave each other’s side without saying i love you. All those little things help keep the passion alive.


People with great passion

can make the impossible happen


I think it’s so easy in our busy lives to forget to complement each other or have the energy to get dressed up and make the effort, especially if you have young children, however i think this has been an important factor in keeping our passion alive.

Since we got together me and my husband have not gone one day without saying i love you. Every night we go to bed with a kiss and a cuddle and we never go to sleep on an argument. This is a rule we made early on, as we felt that when you sleep on things it always makes it worse.

Most importantly we compromise, if he wants to do something and i don’t, we meet in the middle, our relationship is 50/50 across the board. We both have equal household duties and help each other out where possible. We are each other’s rock in hard times, if i am down he will pick me up and i do the same for him. We are a team.

We also both make sure that we encourage each other and our goals, if there is something he is passionate about then i encourage it, when i started this blog, i don’t think he really thought it was going to go anywhere, or that i would stick at it any longer than one post, but he went out and bought me a new computer. He wanted me to see how much he cared about my ambitions and goals and how much he supports me.

It’s not always good or easy but even through the worst arguments, we have no doubt that we will work it out and get through it. It also helps that we both have a very strong belief that marriage for us is a onetime deal, no second chances. We take our vows seriously and always work on honouring them.


Is tu fuil ‘o mo chuislean, is tu cnaimh de mo chnaimh.

Is leatsa mo bhodhaig, chum gum bi sinn ‘n ar n-aon.

Is leatsa m’anam gus an criochnaich ar saoghal.

Is tu fuil ‘o mo chuislean, is tu cnaimh de mo chnaimh.

You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I gave you my body, that we two may be one. I give you my spirit, ’til our life shall be done. You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone.


I think if i was to sum up what it is that has made our marriage last this long, it’s got to be the fact that we don’t live for ourselves anymore, we live for each other. Always taking the other person’s feelings into account and listening to their needs, and love, a whole lot of love and admiration for the other person.

It’s not always good or easy but even through the worst arguments we both have no doubt that we will work it out and get through it. It’s a commitment for life.

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