Solo masturbation in a married world



Why i masturbate even though i’m married



So, I decided this could make for a good article, I’m sure I can’t be the only one that’s happily married, who still has a little solo play from time to time. Hell, maybe you do it every day or more.

My husband has always had a problem with solo masturbation. He thinks it stems from a past relationship where she was dead against it. Obviously because of this he has developed a negative relationship with self-pleasuring. I always used to find it strange when I asked him if he had a wank since he last saw me and his answer was no. At one point I just genuinely believed he was just trying to keep his wanking sessions secret. Maybe he was embarrassed or our relationship had not yet reached that stage of vulnerability for him.

For me self-pleasuring has always been part of my life since if I can remember. From the very first sexual stir I had. I couldn’t imagine not having some alone time, for me this is where I learned what I liked and didn’t like. It was a way to get to know myself on a sexual level. How would I ever be able to tell someone what I liked if I didn’t even know myself?

I have had a lot of sexual partners and as good a lover as some of them were, none of them could outperform me. Let’s be honest here, no one can ever pleasure you like you can pleasure yourself, only you can feel the sensations of touch as well as the pressure in which you apply. This gives you and only you the tools required to make masturbation perfect each time. I also love the freedom solo masturbation brings. I don’t have to worry about pleasing someone else. It’s my time to fully relax and let all my inhibitions go. Yeah sure I can do this with my husband but it’s not the same. When I am with my husband I must take his thoughts and feelings into consideration. Solo masturbation is a very selfish act. It’s not about anything other than self-gratification. I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with that, we are all entitled to be selfish sometimes.

I don’t play with myself because I’m not getting my needs met, which I’m sure a lot of people would think. Me and my husband have a very satisfying sex life. I do it, well because why shouldn’t I? There are times when I want to self-pleasure, When I don’t want a full-on sex marathon. I just want to orgasm, maybe when I’m stressed or can’t sleep. I don’t really have any set-in stone reasons. I find I can be sitting there and suddenly the idea pops into my head, I don’t always act on it but if I am alone or my needs become great then I appease them.

Being a sex toy tester, I always have loads of products around and feel they make my solo play all that more fun. I can take my pick of what kind of solo play I want to indulge in. This can range from a quick clitoral orgasm to a full on fucking session. Then there are those times when I don’t need toys or help and I self-pleasure.

Over the 12 years I have been married I have masturbated a lot, like lots and lots. Over time I started to be more and more secretive about this. I think the main reason was that my husband was not into it. Kind of like, well if you don’t then maybe I shouldn’t either. Don’t get me wrong he has never discouraged me from it. He has even said if he is sleeping I don’t need to leave the room and go to the bathroom, instead I am just to do away in bed. For me this makes me very uncomfortable, there is just something about being caught that makes me feel awkward, weird considering I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. I guess I see it as a very private thing. I also worry now that my husband may think he’s not doing enough to satisfy me.

I am lucky in the sense that me and my husband are together 24/7 we both work from home so there is not a day when he’s not around to pleasure me. I just need to say the word and he is on it hehe. Being a sex toy tester does heighten my sexual desires and needs. I always used to think that sex toy testers must be numb all the time. Like maybe they became almost desensitised to sex. For me this has not been the case, the more I have the more I want. Guess I’m greedy that way.

My husband is always the one that goes on the school run and for me this is the perfect time to indulge in solo play. It’s my time to feel completely relaxed and ready for the mayhem that’s about to take place. Another common time for me is after my husband has fallen asleep. When the house is quiet and everyone is sound. It’s not like I stay awake waiting on my chance. Its only on the odd occasion when I have trouble sleeping. For me there is nothing like a good orgasm to help me drift soundly off to sleep.

The only time my husband will participate in self masturbation is when he is doing it with me. I love watching him and he knows it turns me on massively. I always found it a good way to make him feel more comfortable about it. He still won’t participate in solo play but you know you can’t win them all hehe. Obviously, I think if he did maybe I would feel a little less self-conscious.

I think I will always take the time to pleasure myself, it’s my own little gig and I love every second of it, I just hope that one day I may feel a little less awkward or secretive about it.

What I do know is that if you are like me, you should ever feel ashamed. Also, if you have a partner who solo masturbates, don’t see this as a reflection on you or your abilities to please, some of us just love it and see no reason to stop once in a committed relationship.


Thanks for reading


I am not an expert, always seek professional help where applicable. The opinions on this post are my own, this post has been written from my personal experience or knowledge. I do not take any responsibility if my advice or the products I recommend don’t work for you. Everyone is different therefore it is impossible for me to know if the product or advice I give will suit your needs. These are just my personal experiences and accounts, and are intended to be used only as a reference.

One thought on “Solo masturbation in a married world

  1. Watching your Partner Masturbate

    December 1, 2017 at 10:49pm

    […] whenever the mood takes me. I wrote another article all about it you can read this here if you wish Solo masturbation in a married world. So, having him masturbate in front of me was a goal I was pleased to […]

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